A Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf.
The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing.
He missed the ball entirely and said “Sh*t, I missed.”
The good Sister told him to watch his language.
On his next swing, he missed again. “Sh*t, I missed.”
“Father, I’m not going to play with you if you keep swearing,” the nun said tartly.
The priest promised to do better, and the round continued.
On the 4th tee, he misses again. The usual comment followed.
Sister is really mad now and says, “Father John, God is going to strike you dead if you keep swearing like that.”
On the next tee, Father John swings and misses again.
“Sh*t, I missed.”
A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightning comes out of the sky and strikes Sister Marie dead in her tracks.
And from the sky comes a booming voice, “Sh*t, I missed.”
Prince Charles and the hooker
Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day.
At the same street corner he passed a hooker standing there every day. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she’d shout.
“No! Five pounds!” He’d say from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.
This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.
She’d yell, “One hundred and fifty pounds!”
He’d yell back, “Five pounds!”
One day, Camilla decided to accompany her husband. As the couple neared the hooker’s corner, Prince Charles realised she’d bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he’d really been doing on all his past outings.
He figured he’d better have a good explanation for his wife.
As they neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual.
Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.
Then, the hooker yelled: “See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard!”
