A man went into a supermarket, got three cans of dog food, and walked up to the checkout.
The checkout boy asks the man, “Sir, do you own a dog?”
The man replies, “Yes, I do.”
The checkout boy then asks, “Do you have the dog with you?”
The man replies, “No, I left it at home.”
The checkout boy then says, “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you this dog food unless I see your dog.”
A few days later, the man walks into the same store, gets three cans of cat food, and walks up to the checkout.
The same checkout boy asks, “Sir, do you own a cat?”
The man replies, “Yes, I do.”
The checkout boy then asks, “Do you have your cat with you?”
And the man replies, “No, I left it at home.”
Then the checkout boy says, “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you this cat food unless I see your cat.”
A few days later the man walks into the store, this time carrying a paper bag. He walks up to the same checkout boy, and asks him to put his hand into the bag.
The checkout boy says, “It feels warm, soft, and gooey.”
The man then says, “Now, can I go back and get three rolls of toilet paper?”
•••
A woman and her husband came out of the supermarket. She said, ‘I’ll put the shopping in the car and you get the baby.’ The husband said, ‘All right.’ And off he went. A few minutes later he was back at the car.
The woman said, ‘Hey, that’s not our baby.’ The man said, ‘Shut up, it’s a better pram.’
•••
This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about the various chainsaws.
The dealer tells him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred trees for you in one day.”
So the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting down two trees, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. “How can I cut for hours and only cut two trees?” the man asks himself. “I will begin first thing in the morning tomorrow and cut all day,” the man tells himself.
So the next morning, the man gets up at 4am and cuts and cuts till nightfall, and still only manages to cut down 20 trees.
The man is convinced this is a bad saw. “The dealer told me it would cut one hundred trees in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer,” the man says to himself.
The next day, the man takes the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man’s claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, “Hmm, it looks fine.”
Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, “What’s that noise?
Related articles:
Defining differences I
Defining differences II
Heard of the anti-joke?
