Did you hear the one about the Italian chef? Or how about the price of duck feathers? We’ve curated 20 droll ‘did you hear’ jokes for your chuckling pleasure.
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Did you hear about the Italian chef?
He pasta way.
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Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.
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Did you hear about the man who drank five litres of tea?
He drowned in his tepee.
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Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa.
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Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.
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Did you hear what the cannibal did after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his bum.
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Read: 20 actual newspaper headlines
Did you hear about the young cat who went to work for the Red Cross?
She wanted to be a first aid kit.
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Did you hear about the man who stole 10 bars of soap from a supermarket?
He made a clean getaway.
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Did you hear about the man who put on a clean pair of socks every day of the week?
By Friday he could hardly get his shoes on.
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Did you hear about the cross-eyed optician?
He could never see eye to eye with his patients.
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Did you hear about the paranoid bloodhound?
He was convinced that certain people were following him.
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Read: A laugh at the modern man
Did you hear that the price of duck feathers has risen?
So now even down is up.
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Did you hear about the man who stole a truckload of eggs?
He has returned them. Apparently he only did it for a yolk.
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Did you hear about the man who gave up his job as a fishmonger?
He said it was making him shellfish.
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Did you hear about the school teacher who married a dairymaid?
It didn’t last. They were like chalk and cheese.
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Read: Awkward but funny
Did you hear about the cat who drank three bowls of milk?
He set a new lap record.
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Did you hear about the two ghosts who fell madly in love?
It was love at first fright.
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Did you hear about the new movie in which a beautiful girl falls in love with a very ugly loaf of bread?
It’s called beauty and the yeast.
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Did you hear about the stonemason’s son?
He was a chip off the old block.
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Did you hear about the baby ghost who applied to join the football team?
He heard the manager say that they were in need of a little team spirit.
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Do you hear the one about the YourLifeChoices’ members who had a good ‘did you hear’ joke? They shared it with our members. Pop yours in the comments section below.
