Coffee makes the world go round and brightens the day for so many, so we went looking for the coffee gags that wouldn’t make you gag. Hope you get a latte laughs.
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Barista: How do you take your coffee?
Me: Very, very seriously.
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What do you call sad coffee?
Despresso
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What’s the best Beatles song?
Latte Be!
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Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Spouse #2: That’s not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.
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How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
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How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
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How is divorce like espresso?
It’s expensive and bitter.
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What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
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Where do birds go for coffee?
To the NESTcafe.
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What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
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What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
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What do you call it when cafe customers joke about their coffee?
A brewhaha.
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How are coffee beans like kids?
They’re always getting grounded!
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What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
Déjà brew.
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What’s the technical name for a coffee at work?
Break fluid.
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A factory worker died today after falling into a vat of coffee. Police say that although it came as a shock to all who knew him, they may take some relief from the fact he didn’t suffer.
It was instant.
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What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
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Every morning, I see this exhausted woman who looks like she would murder someone for a cup of coffee.
I really should move that mirror.
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Why should you be wary of a 50-cent espresso?
It’s a cheap shot.
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I tried brewing my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.
I drank it and left my house to go to work. After 15 minutes I realised I forgot my car.
Thanks to ScaryMommy.com for the inspiration. Anything we missed? Why not share your coffee jokes – or any jokes – in the comments section below?
Also read: Friday Funnies: Computer at the chemist
