It’s fun to be a little cheeky at times. Today’s Friday Funnies reveal the naughty side of life – just for laughs.
•••
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: Hello.
WOMAN: Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?
MAN: Yes.
WOMAN: I’m at the shopping centre now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1000. Is it okay if I buy it?
MAN: Sure, go ahead if you really like it.
WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2022 model. I really liked it.
MAN: How much?
WOMAN: $198,000.
MAN: Okay, but for that price make sure it comes with all the options.
WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house, the one I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $1.9 million.
MAN: Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $1.8m. They will probably take it. If not, go the extra $100,000 if you think it’s really a pretty good price.
WOMAN: ‘Okay. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! You’re so generous!
MAN: You’re worth it. Bye!
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, with mouths wide open. The man turns and asks, “Anybody knows whose phone this is?”
•••
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes woke Watson and said: “Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see.” Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.” Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson replied: “Well if there are millions of stars, and even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.” And Holmes said “Watson, you idiot, it means someone stole our tent.”
•••
Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A police officer notices how fast he’s going and pulls him over. The officer says to the man, “Are you aware how fast you were going?”
The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”
The officer gives him a sceptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?”
The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.”
The officer looks shocked that the man has admitted this. “So you’re telling me you were speeding and committed a robbery?”
“Yes,” the man calmly says. “I have the loot in the back.”
The officer begins to get angry. “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.” He reaches in the window to subdue the man.
“Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully. “I’m scared you’ll find the gun in my glove compartment!”
The officer pulls his hand out. “Wait here,” he says.
The officer calls for backup. Soon cops, cars and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car.
However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the officer that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the boot of your car and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car.”
The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”
