Do any of these grandparent descriptions ring true for you?
Grandparents’ answering machine message:
Good morning . . . at present we are not at home, but please choose from one of these options:
If you are one of our children, dial one and then select the option from one to five, in order of your birth date so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press two.
If you want to borrow the car, press three.
If you want us to wash your clothes and do ironing, press four.
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press five.
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press six.
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press seven.
If you want to come to eat here, press eight.
If you need money, press nine.
If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us to the theatre, start talking, we are listening!
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What is a grandparent? (Taken from papers written by a class of eight-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own.
A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!
Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down when they see things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on ‘cracks’.
They don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don’t have to be smart. But they have to answer questions such as ‘Why isn’t God married?’ and ‘How come dogs chase cats?’
When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have a snack time before bedtime, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
It’s funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
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