While we may stay young at heart forever, our bodies don’t always reflect the sentiment. Here are our favourite jokes that show senior citizens don’t lose their sense of humour.
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Eventually, you’ll reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
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An elderly looking gentleman, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good aftershave, presenting a well-looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says: “So tell me, do I come here often?”
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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve travelled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
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A frustrated wife defines retirement: “Twice as much husband on half as much pay.”
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A married couple are celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appears on their table and says: “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”
“Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,” says the wife. The fairy moves her magic wand and – abracadabra! – two tickets for a new luxury liner appear in her hands.
Now it’s the husband’s turn. He thinks for a moment and says: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me”.
The wife and the fairy are deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish …
So the fairy makes a circle with her wand and – abracadabra! – the husband is 92 years old.
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First, you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.
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My face in the mirror isn’t wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn’t dirty. The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn.
I think I may never put my glasses back on.
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If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.
Got a good-hearted seniors joke to share? Pop it in the comments section below.
Also read: Friday Funnies – A difficult choice
Two couples, unknown to each other, start chatting in a coffee shop, with the two men talking to each other, & the women doing likewise. One of the men mentions to the other that they’ve just been to the movies. The other man then asks what movie the first man saw. The first man thinks for a minute, then says to the other, “Er, what’s the name of a flower?”. The second man says, “Violet?”, First man says, “No, that’s not it”. Second man says, “Tulip?”, “Er, no, that’s not right”. Second man then says, “Rose?”. First man says, “Rose, rose, yeah, that’s it!” Leans over to the woman and says, “Hey, Rose! What was the name of the movie we just saw?”