Three women went to Mexico to celebrate their college graduation. They got drunk and woke up in jail to find that they’re being executed in the morning, though none of them could remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
The executioner turns on the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words: “I just graduated from Indiana University School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
Again, the switch is flicked, and, again, nothing happens. Immediately they fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of West Virginia and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug that thing in.”
Claude the hypnotist
It was entertainment night at the aged care centre.
After the song led by Alice on the piano, it was time for the star of the show: Claude the hypnotist. Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. “Yes, each and every one of you, and all at the same time”, said Claude.?
The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain from his waistcoat pocket.?“I want you to keep your eyes on this watch”, said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see. “It’s a very special and valuable watch, that has been in my family for six generations”, he said. ?
Claude began to swing the watch gently back and forth on the long chain, while quietly chanting: “Watch the watch … Watch the watch … Watch the watch.”?
The audience became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth on the long chain – the light twinkling from both the beautiful watch and the chains reflective and gleaming surfaces.? Over a hundred pairs of eyes followed the gentle swaying as a trance took over.
?But then, suddenly, the chain broke. The beautiful, expensive watch fell to the stage and smashed apart into pieces as it hit the floor.?
“S#*T!”, said Claude.?
It took them three days to clean up the room. And Claude was never invited back again.
