Fishing for jokes, we decided it was time to mine one of the all-time great treasure troves – fishing, of course.
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Jack: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
Jill: Search me. Why?
Jack: He had only two worms.
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Matt: What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a sport sock?
Rick: I don’t know. What?
Matt: A hook, line and stinker!
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Max: What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Nick: Beats me.
Max: Something catchy!
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Little Eddy and his mum were digging for bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.
“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she said. “It’s not an earthworm.”
“It’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is it from?”
•••
Fishing inspector: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son?
Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim!
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Thomas: How do you communicate with a fish?
Russ: I don’t know.
Thomas: Drop it a line!
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A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money. One night a customer knocks on the door. A monk answers. The customer asks: “Are you the fish friar?”
“No,” he replies. “I’m the chip monk.”
•••
Diner: Waiter, waiter, what’s wrong with this fish?
Waiter: Long time no sea, sir.
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Tom: What does every fisherman want?
Terry: What?
Tom: A gillfriend.
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A.J.: Did you hear about the fight at the seafood restaurant?
Nico: No, what happened?
A.J.: Two fish got battered!
•••
Three fishermen were fishing when they came upon a mermaid. The mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisherman said: “Double my IQ.” The mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting Shakespeare. The second fisherman said: “Triple my IQ.” And sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn’t know existed. The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his IQ. The mermaid said: “Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life.” The fisherman excitingly said: “Yes”. The mermaid turned him into a woman.
•••
One day, Frank and Bob were out fishing.
A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing near, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Frank said: “Gee Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!”
Bob replies: “It’s the least I could do. After all, I was married to her for 30 years.”
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