Friday Funnies: Poking fun at politicians

There’s one prominent group of ’employees’ guaranteed to be the butt of much humour – politicians.

•••

Q: What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?
A: In a capitalist society, man exploits man, and in a socialist one, it’s the other way around.

•••

We should have known communism would never work, there were so many red flags.

•••

Read: Jokes for smart people

What do you get when you ask a politician for ‘the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’?
Three different answers.

•••

A murderer, politician and religious man walks into a bar.
And that’s just the first guy.

•••

A thief pressed a knife to a man’s ribcage and said, “Give me your money!”
Shocked, the man replied, “You can’t do this to me! I’m a politician!”
The thief replied, “In that case, give me my money!”

•••

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to assure the public that they’re doing everything they can to fix the issue while the other screws the bulb into a tap.

•••

Read: Wise and witty one-liners

Stop blaming politicians and start blaming fortune tellers. They knew, and they did nothing.

•••

A rabbi, a Hindu priest and a politician went on a hike.
Night fell and they were exhausted. The hotel on the map was nowhere to be seen.

They knocked on the door of a farm and asked if they could spend the night.

The farmer said, “Of course, but I only have a small room with two beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn.”

The Hindu priest said, “I need no material comforts. I will gladly take the barn.”

The rabbi and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the Hindu priest standing there.

“So sorry, my friends, but there is a cow in the barn, and I cannot sleep beside such a holy animal.”

The rabbi said, “No problem, my brother. I’ll take the barn.”

The Hindu priest and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the rabbi standing there.

“So sorry, my friends, but there’s a pig in the barn, and I can’t sleep beside such a filthy animal.”

The politician said, “Okay, let it be remembered that I sacrificed my comfort for the greater good.”

The rabbi and the Hindu priest were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the pig and the cow standing there.

Did we forget any classic political jokes? Share them in the comments section below.

YourLifeChoices Writers
YourLifeChoices Writershttp://www.yourlifechoices.com.au/
YourLifeChoices' team of writers specialise in content that helps Australian over-50s make better decisions about wealth, health, travel and life. It's all in the name. For 22 years, we've been helping older Australians live their best lives.
- Our Partners -

DON'T MISS

- Advertisment -
- Advertisment -