This week, we deliver puns intended to make you groan. Or will they? As excruciating as silly humour can sometimes be, we believe we have discovered some corny one-liners and riddles from the Reader’s Digest vault that may just put a hint of a smirk on your lips. You decide. Are these jokes and puns bad, or what?
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My wife hits me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins before getting married.
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make up everything!
The past, the present and the future walk into a bar … that was tense.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I’m only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
Having sex in a lift is wrong on so many levels.
A friend tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play that game.
Bi-focals are God’s way of saying ‘keep your chin up’.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.
I was playing chess with my friend when he said ‘let’s make this more interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.
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Q. How much room should you give fungi to grow?
A. As mushroom as possible.
Q. Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
A. It ended in a tie.
Q. Why can’t Harry Potter tell between the pot he uses to make potions and his best friend?
A. They’re both cauld ron.
Q. How much money does a pirate pay for corn?
A. A buccaneer.
Q. Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
A. It had too many sleepless knights.
Q. Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?
A. Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
Q. What do you call a clown who holds the door open for you?
A. A nice jester.
Q. How do you describe a belt made out of watches?
A. A waist of time.
Q. Did you hear about the car mechanics shop that just opened?
A. It comes highly wreck-a-mended.
Q. What did one boat say to another?
A. Are you up for a little row mance?
Q. How do you drown a hipster?
A. Throw him into the main stream.
Q. How many 16-year-olds does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Whatever.
What’s the worst pun or riddle you have ever heard? What jokes always makes you laugh no matter how much you hear it?
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