When Mary-Anne Paterson lost her mother, Anne, to breast cancer she knew she wanted to make something in her memory.
Now she is creating glass jewellery from her mother’s ashes.
“Mum always wanted to do something different … she never wanted to be stuck in a jar,” the Townsville woman says.
“At the funeral she wanted to be lowered to [the song] Another One Bites the Dust … she had a kooky sense of humour.
“Mum always said she would haunt me if I left her on the mantelpiece.”
More Australians are choosing cremation over the cemetery.
So far this year, 76 per cent of Queenslanders who died were cremated.
And while some people prefer to hold onto the ashes of a loved one in an urn, or scatter their ashes in a memorable place, others are getting creative.
As well as jewellery, ashes can be made into ink for tattoos and even fireworks.
‘It helps a lot’
Ms Paterson says she hopes to pass the jewellery she has made onto her children.
“To do something special like this where maybe I could wear her … I know that sounds a bit weird, but to go from this morbid bit of ash to a beautiful piece of glass, it’s amazing,” she said.
Glasswork artist Alison Velvin first started creating ‘memento beads’ after she lost her cat Tinkerbell last year.
“I wanted to wear her close,” Ms Velvin says.
The beads only require a small amount of ash, about a quarter of a teaspoon.
“You have to sift the ashes so it’s just powdered ash, you can’t incorporate chunky ashes,” Ms Velvin says.
“Once you have the barrel made out of molten glass … you roll the hot glass onto the ashes and then you melt a layer of clear glass over the top.
“People can look at the memento beads and go, ‘yeah that’s my person’, or ‘that’s my pet’.
“When people are working with their ashes, at the beginning they’re a little bit hesitant and then they lose themselves in the process.
“The beads can be made into key rings, pendants … they can just carry it in their pocket. It helps a lot.”
Gayle Hayter lost her husband of 40 years, Allan, six years ago. After he was cremated, she packed his ashes away but now she is also making memento beads with them.
“I’ve struggled to do anything with his ashes,” Ms Hayter says.
“It was a big deal for me to go through his ashes and pull out part of them, but I’ve done it and I think he’d be happy with what I’m doing.
“The more memorial stuff I can do, the better it makes me feel.”
Rising from the ashes
Dr Margaret Gibson, cultural sociologist and senior lecturer at Griffith University, says for some people, creating something out of ashes can help them to grieve the loss of a loved one.
“There’s always that need to try to give that deceased loved one a sense of place,” Dr Gibson says.
“Using the ashes and turning them into something can be very comforting and a way of giving them a place.”
She says fireworks are one of the quirkier options.
“It’s quite celebratory, quite literally going out with a bang,” Dr Gibson says.
“There’s something ephemeral about fireworks.”
So, will cemeteries ever die?
The short answer is probably not.
Dr Gibson says expense and practicality are key factors in the shift away from cemeteries.
“People don’t necessarily want to bury their loved one in a place they no longer live in,” she says.
“Ashes are much more portable, and you can take those ashes with you and make a decision later on what to do with them.”
Although space is at a premium in cemeteries, many people still prefer the idea of a traditional burial.
“When it comes to religion, in Jewish and Muslim traditions and for some Christians, burial is still seen as the appropriate way to bury a person,” Dr Gibson says.
“Many funerals now are really secular and personalised.”
Whether you want to be buried or cremated, Dr Gibson says it’s important for friends and family to remember there is “no correct way” to grieve.
“Everyone grieves differently,” she says.
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