Who has the secret to happiness? Buddhist monks? Rich retirees? Rich widows? You?
Well, maybe no-one has the secret to true happiness, but a new book has some ideas on how to improve your wellbeing. And it won’t cost you a cent. Well, maybe you’ll have to buy the book.
Hasan Merali, an associate professor of paediatrics at McMaster University, has written Sleep Well, Take Risks, Squish the Peas: Secrets From the Science of Toddlers for a Happier, More Successful Way of Life, and like the title says, maybe we should look to toddlers for how to be happy.
Dr Merali is a Harvard-trained doctor who now works as a paediatric emergency medicine doctor and child health researcher.
And all that learning has taught him that maybe we need to rethink some life lessons from how toddlers approach life.
Here are a few we could use every day.
Be positive
Have you ever noticed how small children talk themselves up or talk through a task? Dr Merali says we should do the same.
Try using some affirmations when you need a bit of a pep-up. It could be something as simple as “It’s okay to ask for help”, or “I am good and getting better” or even a simple “I can do this”.
Be a team player
Toddlers work best in groups.
“Teamwork is critical for toddlers because they are focused on building relationships and learning, and that really comes out when they’re working with others,” Dr Merali told Great Place to Work.
“They just want to make sure that the other person understands, and that they can work together – that’s all they really want to do.”
So no judgements and no blame game.
“They are focused on getting the work done, not really about what happened,” Dr Merali says. “They just simply acknowledge the problem, move on, and just look for solutions.”
That could solve a lot of problems in office politics, if nothing else.
Ask more questions
Everyone who has ever had a toddler knows they go through a phase where every second question is “why?” It can be infuriating, but their little brains are crying out for information.
As adults, we lose that curiosity because we don’t want people to know we are unsure.
“As adults we get question shy,” Dr Merali says. “We care a lot about what the other person thinks of us. We care a lot about how asking questions will make us look – so our rate of questions goes down dramatically.”
As well as gaining more information, asking questions improves social connections.
Sleep more
Toddlers thrive on a strict sleep schedule, and it’s something we should aspire to.
There is a clear connection between poor sleep and poor physical and mental health, and we could all improve our sleep hygiene by adopting a routine that mirrors a toddler’s night-time schedule.
“The best wellness takeaway for anyone is always to get better sleep,” Dr Merali says – and toddlers have much healthier sleep habits than adults. “If we could follow a toddler’s sleep schedule, then our sleep would be so much better.”
Take a warm bath or shower, put away the screens, get into some comfy pyjamas, read a book and then turn out the lights.
And it never hurts to have a nap in the afternoon.
Move more
Toddlers are generally almost always moving. Even when they are sitting down there is wriggling. In fact, according to studies, toddlers are moving almost five hours a day.
While that may be an impossible dream, almost all of us could be moving more. Park your car further from the shopping centre door, stroll through a local park, find an exercise class on YouTube (better than the gym, because it’s free), or go back to a sport you liked in your childhood.
Apart from the obvious benefits of physical health, there is a mountain of evidence showing exercise is also vital for mental health.
Do you agree with this idea? Why not share your thoughts in the comments section below?
Also read: Don’t let depression ruin retirement
