Unwanted changes in libido? Don’t shrug it off, and give up on sexual satisfaction. A healthy sex life can stretch across all decades of adulthood.
We often hear about menopause and midlife hormonal changes affecting desire for sex. So, what happens after that?
The appetite for sex is individual – there is no standard sex drive at 60 – but most of us experience changes in sexual desire throughout life.
Reasons for changes in elderly libido can be complex. Physical changes may decrease pleasure during intercourse, and psychological factors reduce desire.
The good news is, sexual enjoyment and orgasms are generally still possible at any age.
The Sex, Age & Me study in 2017, exploring the sexual health of older Australians, found 72 per cent of survey participants aged 60 and over reported having sex in the previous year.
If experiencing a lack of sex drive is unusual, it’s worth speaking to your doctor.
Physical changes with age
Reduced hormone levels are one aspect of the many effects ageing in general has on the body.
Since the act of sex is often intuitive, it’s not uncommon to find dealing with physical developments somewhat confronting.
For women, lower hormone levels and ageing contribute to vaginal dryness, thinning of vagina walls and further physical manifestations that risk inhibiting the desire for sex.
For men, changes in arousal, taking longer to reach an erection, altered ejaculation patterns, less energy and loss of muscle can all be part of the ageing package.
Adjusting to the impact of any changes involves a frankness around sexual intimacy. Instead of placing discussions in the ‘too hard’ basket (no pun intended), try being up-front.
From lubrication to different sexual acts, there is a path forward.
Medical considerations
Ageing often brings medical conditions and health complications.
Experiencing a sex drive change? Check the side-effects of medicine. Pharmaceuticals necessary for your health can tank your sex drive.
Common culprits include certain antidepressants and blood pressure medications, but the list is long.
Chronic health issues more common with age, such as diabetes, heart health and arthritis, also commonly impact elderly sex life, whether desire or mechanics of the act itself.
From pelvis to prostate, unwanted developments can suddenly render sex less fun.
When partaking in sex brings pain or takes too much energy, sexual appetite is prone to waning.
Not to mention after big health events, when you may no longer intuitively trust your body and introduce a mental component to your drop in libido.
Talk to your doctor
Your GP can help you find your way to better sexual health.
The first step? A frank discussion. On the other side of what feels like an embarrassing conversation, is the potential for a fulfilling sex life extending across the years.
Possible action includes medication adjustment, exercises to strengthen certain regions of the body, hormone treatments, or medications related to sexual performance.
Your GP also has the option of referring you to other professionals.
The psychology of ageing
Are you comfortable having sex in an elderly body?
Sexuality in later life often faces cultural prejudice.
Discomfort at the thought of an elderly sex drive is out there – but you have a right to enjoy sex.
Unfortunately, toxic ideas can embed in the subconscious, eroding self-worth.
Lack of confidence in an ageing physique, weight gain and symptoms related to chronic conditions can feed into hesitancy around the intimacy of sex when older.
Sex therapy, sexual health counselling and couples counselling for seniors can help address your personal relationship with sex and ageing.
General health
If you are unfit, obese, not eating or sleeping well, wracked by stress and anxiety or over-indulging in alcohol and cigarettes, your libido will likely reflect that, no matter your age.
Life changes could impact elderly sex drive, including the end of a relationship, loss of a loved one, loss of employment, entering retirement, or a change in living circumstances.
Addressing mental and physical health may help improve your sexual appetite.
The concept of sex
Sex and intimacy are about more than intercourse. Get creative. Research online, and have fun experimenting.
Did you know sex toys for seniors is a flourishing market? You might want to look into that.
Just remember to maintain sexual health, and use protection.
Has your sex drive changed as you age? Let us know in the comments section below.
Also read: How and why to use sex toys in your 50s and beyond
As I grow older I find life is becoming far more complex and those damn forms you have to complete are a nightmare. Gender questions are now a mystery to me but when I am asked the Question Sex I just reply ‘Yes Please’. Sadly, that answer does not compute and gets rejected!
Thanks for the laugh, @PeterRJ! May your ‘Yes Please’ be replied to favourably someday 🤣
Thanks Peter. The answer “I wish” also gets rejected.
Had surgery and said good bye to the prostate and some of the erectile nerves, later followed by nearly 7 weeks of radiation.
Sadly the little man now knows which direction south is. Tried the yellow pills and the blue pills and not a flicker of interest from the little man.
To those who still can, enjoy, especially as you won’t know when you may not be able to do so.