Could an online platform help those going through a marriage breakup better navigate the experience? The idea might seem a little far fetched but one company has gone to market with the idea – with government financial backing – on a platform called You After X.
Marriage breakups are no longer the rarity they were when I was a kid. As a naïve primary school child in the early 1970s, the concept was almost completely foreign to me.
Being brought up Catholic only served to accentuate my naïvety. Such things simply weren’t discussed in our conservative, churchgoing household.
One can argue the merits of shielding me from such realities, but I don’t think it did me much good. It certainly didn’t give me anything to draw on when I went through my own marriage breakup back in 2010.
Fortunately, society is more open to the realities of marriage breakups these days. But are those going through a breakup any better at managing the experience?
Current data indicates median marriage length is now 13 years, so one would hope so. But there’s other data that suggests not.
Research indicates separated or divorced individuals are 2.5 times more likely to suffer from serious mental illness compared to those who are married. In my marriage breakup both parties experienced this. And it’s fair to say neither of us had much idea about where to turn for support.
My ex-wife and I are now very good friends, and in hindsight, we both agree we were short on support. That’s not to say our family and friends did not support us. In fact the opposite was true.
Professional expertise would have come in very handy, but it would not have come cheap. Could something like You After X be a solution?
What does You After X promise?
First, it’s important to note that You After X is a program aimed at providing support specifically for women after a breakup.
It is the brainchild of Selina Millers, described in a press release as a post-marital specialist. Ms Millers has been through her own separation and divorce. She is using her personal experience and background in psychology and family law to support women in taking control of their situation when going through a break-up.
“It’s crucial to reach out for support and find resources to help handle the unexpected challenges that could come your way when going through separation or divorce,” she says.
“Devastatingly, women facing separation are more likely to experience mental health problems, including clinical depression,” she said.
With that in mind, Ms Millers initiated the You After X project. In March, the Queensland state government announced the project would be among 26 businesses receiving grants totalling $3.3 million.
The grants are designed to help Queensland innovators develop new and innovative products and services and bring them to market.
The platform is “dedicated to empowering women to reinvent themselves following a break-up”. Its secondary aim is “filling the gap between advice from friends and restrictive professional support”.
It is that gap that my ex-wife and I struggled to fill more than a decade ago.
Among the features of You After X are ‘The five self-promises key to a healthier break-up’. They include ‘The 24-hour rule’, ‘Affirmations’, ‘Understanding Control’, ‘Reflection’ and ‘Advice from Professionals vs Friends’.
What will it cost?
The support offered through the You After X does come at a cost. However, when weighing it up against the alternatives, it’s not prohibitive. A six-month membership costs $US99 (roughly $AU150) or a 12-month membership will set you back $US175 (approximately $AU265).
The program offers what it calls the ‘POWERHOUSE Method’. This consists of 10 comprehensive courses, guiding you through “the process of rebuilding confidence, discovering new passions, and reinventing yourself.”
You After X does sound like the sort of support platform that would have helped me through the early stages of my own marriage breakup. If it proves to be successful, let’s hope an equivalent for men is not far away.
Have you been through a long-term relationship breakup? Did you feel appropriate support was available to you? Let us know via the comments section below.
Also read: Single and satisfied – separated over-50s women happy to go it alone
Health disclaimer: This article contains general information about health issues and is not advice. For health advice, consult your medical practitioner.
