You and your lover have more chance of lasting the distance if you’re close in age – according to science, that is.
Of course, the heart doesn’t always listen to the data.
What the numbers say
Research can offer insight into relationships in the modern world, especially when it comes to your partner’s age.
Despite focusing on wedding expenses and marriage length, an Emory University study also revealed that a one-year age gap led to a 3 per cent chance of separating.
Overall, up to a three-year age difference appears to be the ideal window for a relationship age gap.
Maybe it’s generational. Is communicating with a lover close to your own age easier? Or are relationship goals similar during certain periods of life?
In 2017, a study spanning a 13-year period of Australian relationships found marital satisfaction was higher in similarly aged couples than in age-gap couples.
At first, the results pointed in a different direction. Initially, men and women with younger spouses experienced the highest marital satisfaction.
Unfortunately, satisfaction declined more rapidly in differently aged couples across the first six to10 years of married life.
Meaning, even if your age-gap love has a fairytale meet-cute, that shine is more likely to wear off before the tin anniversary.
A complex equation
Great literature tells us romantic love is unpredictable. Just ask Miss Bennett and Mr Darcy. For some, a relationship outside social norms is the best marriage match possible.
Rather than Austen’s class boundaries, could the scrutiny of age-gap relationships in modern Western society be making some hesitate, or break up?
If social media is anything to go by, people enjoy critiquing those divides. ‘Cougar’ and ‘gold digger’ aren’t thrown around as complimentary terms.
One study showed age-gap couples were more disliked and perceived less equitably than couples of the same age.
But many single people today are increasingly open-minded when it comes to finding love.
A study of 2000 women in relationships saw women more than 10 years older than their partner more satisfied than women with same age partners or older partners.
Another study using Danish data puts forward that a younger spouse is beneficial for men, but detrimental for women – and regardless of sex, older spouses are detrimental to your mortality.
Children are another aspect of the equation. Wanting kids, having kids from previous relationships, and grandkids can all play a part in defining your relationship dynamic.
As we age
More older Australians appear to be choosing relationships without a marriage ceremony. Statistics show from the age of 50, marriage rates are low and continue to decline.
Loneliness has been a hot topic in recent years. A lot of us don’t want to be alone as we age. And it’s no surprise to learn that as we get older, being unwillingly single proves more impactful.
A study highlighted that in older participants (48.6 to 75 years), a greater desire for a partner led to lower life satisfaction.
Another study states that older adults who are sexually active experience higher wellbeing. Yes, get out there and mingle. It’s good for your health.
What are single people over the age of 50 looking for in relationships? A study from Spain says personality, followed by values and physical appearance.
Past experiences also shape us.
The Relationships Australia (2024) Relationship Indicator found just under one in three Australians experienced a relationship breakdown that still affects them today.
So, aside from the basics that include trust, respect and open communication, how do you make a relationship work, regardless of age gap?
A 2020 machine learning study put forth that the most reliable predictor of relationship satisfaction is your belief in your partner’s commitment to your relationship. How interesting is that?
In the end, even if a relationship only has a 5 per cent chance, according to a study somewhere, real-life couples make up that 5 per cent. You and your partner could be among the happy lovers who buck the trend.
What is your age-gap relationship experience? How big is too big? Let us know in the comments section below.
Also read: How to reliably make a female orgasm
