When it comes to enjoying sex, you may think it’s the younger folk who are having the time of their lives, but research reveals many people are having their best sex much later.
For many, our teens and early 20s were a time of obsessing over the opposite sex. Hormones were raging, emotions were high, and we were making our first fumbling sexual forays.
A time of discovery and exploration sure – but if you really think back on it – it was also often a time of intense awkwardness and cringeworthy moments.
A survey of 2000 people of all ages, conducted by Fenetic Wellbeing, asked respondents to nominate the period of their life in which they believe they were having the most satisfying sex.
The results showed that more than one-third of those aged over 50 were having the best sex of their lives after 45.
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Fenetic looked for the specific reasons behind this result and found the answers were different for men and women.
“For many women in their 20s, they’re self-conscious, still trying to figure out who they are, are experimenting with what they like or don’t like,” Fenetic says.
“For some, this can be fun and exciting, however for others it can make sex quite awkward and uncomfortable.
“With younger women feeling the most self-conscious in their body during sex, it’s no surprise that women enjoy sex more as they get older and are less concerned with how they look. This means that for many women their sex drive is actually at its highest in their 40s as they’re more confident in their own body and know what they want in the bedroom.”
Men generally don’t worry as much about how they look during sex. It’s well known that testosterone levels are at their highest in your 20s, and therefore so is your libido, but then decreases as you get older.
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“It is known that men’s sexual function slowly decreases as they age, but this doesn’t mean sexual satisfaction decreases,” Fenetic says.
“[The] survey revealed that, much like with women, men’s sexual satisfaction actually increases with age too.”
Psychosexual therapist Jacqueline Hellyer told MammaMia that while sex was still vitally important to mental health and relationships over 50, getting older can mean you need to expand your view of what ‘sex’ is.
“Sex is so closely linked to our overall wellbeing,” she says.
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“That old model of sex, where everything is about getting things done really quickly, is a bit like trying to be healthy, but eating fast food all the time.”
“Our model of sex might be okay when you meet someone and it’s all terribly exciting, but it’s bloody boring.
“So when mature couples stop having that boring style of sex, they tend to attribute that to the ageing process, when really it’s got not much to do with ageing at all.”
Are you enjoying sex more are you’ve aged? Do you concur with the findings of the survey? Why not share your thoughts in the comments section below?
Men don’t talk about sex when they get older. They only brag about it when they are young.
Mature Age Sex is exciting and enjoyable, but you have to get it!
My partner suffers severely from uterine pain and lack of lubrication, as well as Fibromyalgia. No amount of synthetic lube makes any difference. So we are lucky to get together once every couple of months, which leaves us both upset and paranoid. I don’t want to cause her pain, and she never feels well enough to have sex or even masturbate.
So getting old is fun, but it isn’t all it is cracked up to be, especially when your partner doesn’t want to get intimate.
Hi Peter -I understand.
But why not ask her for fellatio? It feels wonderful and won’t be painful for her.
Then you can perform cunnilingus on her which would be wonderful for you both.
It doesn’t have to be penetrative penis/vagina sex.
As Psychosexual therapist Jacqueline Hellyer says, “…getting older can mean you need to expand your view of what ‘sex’ is.”
Your partner needs to see a female gynacologist who usually are more sympathetic than males. There are many options that may be available to help her – also there are physios that specialize in sexual organs when you have pain. It’s a matter of not being embarrassed as there is alot of help out there – unfortunately, it’s not well known about the varying options of health care.
how sad for both of you and i wonder if you could investigate some other medical solutions to minimise pain but it can be so embarrassing to ask a doctor about sexual problems and maybe standard penetrative sex isn’t the only option…due to prostate cancer and other health problems for both of us we had to acknowledge that we sometimes couldn’t both be keen or capable at the same time but we could agree to have sex (or not) without recriminations and we also try other options like showering together, some weird alternative positions to minimise physical effort and/or oral sex and, although the frequency isn’t fabulous the quality of our sex lives is much better and we can have a few laughs about our sometimes futile attempts to get together in our seventies but the effort is always worthwhile if it helps remind our partner how much we still love and need each other
Sex is very individual. There is only a certain amount of sexual energy men have, some waste it early in life, others make it last longer. It also comes down to lifestyle and diet. As for enjoyment, the best orgasms come with the healthiest body. And as we get older generally we take more care of our health, so this supports the article’s finding.