Sex isn’t just fun, it’s good for you too. A good sex life is a great way to keep your body and mind healthy. Sex can provide physical, mental, and emotional benefits that can help improve your overall wellbeing. It can help reduce stress, improve cardiovascular health, boost your immune system, strengthen relationships, and improve your sleep. Here are 11 tips on how to have a better sex life.
Communicate with your partner
Conflicts in relationships can cause a strain on desire, arousal and wanting to be sexual. Likewise, strong emotions such as anger or a breach of trust can lead to one party not being interested in sex.
It is important to be able to communicate effectively and openly discuss your needs, feelings and concerns with your partner.
Try something different
It’s easy to get into a routine with sex but branching out can really spice up your sex life. Start slow and explore each other’s bodies as if seeing them for the first time. Touch each other in new ways, and spend longer on foreplay. Try out different sex positions to see which ones feel best.
Read: Seven exercises for better sex
Schedule it in
We all have busy lives so schedule sex into your calendar, just like you would with any other important dates. That way, you’ll be less likely to skip it, and it’ll give you something to look forward to for the whole day.
Take your time
For both men and women, another excellent strategy for making sex more enjoyable is to experiment with different kinds of prolonged physical touch, especially if you are working to rekindle sexual desire after a long dry spell. Joan Price, an advocate for ageless sexuality and the author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty: How to Maintain – or Regain – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, offers this guidance:
“As we age, our sexual needs and preferences may change. Where we like being touched, how we like being touched, even who we want to touch us may change. Let the changes be an opportunity to explore. Make a date with yourself or your partner to rediscover how your body responds. In a private, relaxed setting, spend a long, languid, sensual time touching without any goal except to experience sensation and pleasure. Don’t head straight to the genitals – explore your whole body. You may discover some new erogenous zones! Try different kinds of touch – slow, fast, light, firm, stroking, circling. If it feels natural, let yourself experience orgasm, but don’t put any pressure on yourself. Just enjoy learning what feels really good.”
When you slow down, you also get more time to spend with your partner. That’s good for your relationship overall.
Read: Answered: Most common concerns about having sex after 50
Use lubrication
After menopause, it’s not uncommon to experience discomfort during sex due to vaginal dryness.
Lubricants can help moisten the vagina during sex, choose fragrance-free, water-based lubricants to prevent adverse reactions.
If that doesn’t work, a vaginal moisturiser may be in order. Avoid douching, as it can also cause vaginal dryness. Your doctor may also recommend medication such as low-dose vaginal oestrogen if moisturisers and lubricants are ineffective.
Relax
It’s hard to get in the mood after a stressful day. So, after a tough day, do something calming with your partner to relax you. Listen to soft music while enjoying a glass of wine, or go for a slow stroll on the beach.
Work out your pelvic floor
Health professionals advocate pelvic floor exercises to prevent bladder and bowel leakage and pelvic organ prolapse.
But the added bonus is that investing in your pelvic floor health can also improve your sex life and result in better orgasms.
To do these simple exercises, just tighten and relax the muscles you use to hold in your urine. And they’re not just for women. Men who practice pelvic floor exercises often have stronger erections and more intense orgasms.
Be affectionate
It’s important to focus on physical and emotional intimacy, with a focus on closeness, tenderness and contact in every stage of your relationship.
Not every romantic encounter has to end in sex. You and your partner can find pleasure in many other ways. Try taking a bath together or giving each other a sensual massage.
Plan an overnight getaway
Sometimes a change of scenery can work wonders for your sex life.
You don’t have to go far, but taking a trip together can really rekindle the romance. Just make sure you both turn off your phones and focus on each other.
Read: Four foods to eat for better sex
See your doctor
A waning libido may be a sign of health problems. Conditions such as depression, anxiety and hormonal imbalances can all contribute to sexual dysfunction. For men, not being able to have an erection can be an indicator of diabetes or heart disease. And some medications, such as antidepressants and blood pressure drugs, can also lower your sex drive, as can lack of sleep, smoking and excessive alcohol consumption.
If you are concerned by your low sex drive, it’s best to speak with your healthcare provider, who can help you explore your alternatives and possible treatments.
Talk to a sex therapist
If something is bothering you in the bedroom, scheduling an appointment with a sex therapist could help you address issues such as a lack of desire, trouble getting an erection, or problems reaching orgasm. You can meet with a therapist alone or together with your partner.
What do you think of these tips for better sex? Are there any others you would add to the list? Let us know in the comments section below.
