After months and months, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have returned to Australia to face the music over their altercation last year when they tried to smuggle their two terriers into the country without declaring them.
Acting like two stubborn children who had once crossed their arms and stamped their feet and refused to own up to the consequences of their actions, on Monday, Depp and Heard issued their (clearly forced) formal apology. They admitted that they wrongfully jeopardised the precious balance of Australia’s ecosystem. And that they’ve learned their lesson now – and so should everyone else.
Heard leads the robotic apology (one she had likely been provided with only moments before sitting down in front of the camera). She begins with a grand statement about Australia being “a wonderful island with a treasure trove of unique plants, animals and people, free of many pests and diseases that are commonplace around the world. That is why Australia has to have such strong biosecurity laws.” Depp, speaking with visible pain, punctuates the apology with trite comments such as “it has to be protected”, “And Australians are just as unique” and “Declare everything when you enter Australia.” Heard wraps it all up with an “I’m truly sorry that Pistol and Boo were not declared”, then the two sit emotionless until the camera fades out.
Barnaby Joyce, who had mixed himself up in the mess when it all began, said he hoped the video would help underline the message to the rest of the world that Australia’s biosecurity laws weren’t a “joke”. But he said the apology – particularly Depp’s part in it – sounded more like he was “auditioning for the Godfather” and that he won’t “get an academy award for his performance.”
In addition to the apology, Heard was given one month’s good behaviour and is required to pay AU$1000 (US$767).
As actors, Depp and Heard’s obvious unwillingness to even try to give a convincing apology is the most damning proof of their insincerity.
Have you seen the video? What do you think?
