Have you ever wondered if the bedroom can be even more thrilling in your later years than back in your 20s? Spoiler alert – it totally can! Sure, you might not have the same acrobatics as in your youth, but trust me, the fun can be on a whole new level.
If you really think about it, you now have the self-awareness of a seasoned pro.
Maturity has gifted you the knowledge of what you really want, and with years of experience, you’ve fully embraced your fabulous self. The best part? No more performance pressure. Yup, you’re free to be your fantastic self.
It’s a shame, though, that many folk hit the brakes on intimacy as the candles on their birthday cake multiply. But that doesn’t have to be your story because we’re here to shake things up.
Let’s dive into how you can keep the flame burning, even as the body takes you on a rollercoaster ride. While at it, we’ll also discuss the benefits of intimacy as you age.
Embrace your sexual confidence as you age
1. Time to switch things up
You’re likely to feel uncomfortable doing of the some things you used to do in the past, but that doesn’t mean you press stop on everything between the sheets. The body is simply saying, ‘Hey, maybe instead of reverse cowgirl, we try spooning?’
Sex positions aside, this would also be the best time to go all out on those lubes and sex toys because no matter what you’re going through in life, don’t compromise on orgasms.
Remember, the goal isn’t to keep up with what you used to do in the past but to have the best sex life, and you can only achieve that after knowing what works for you.
I always tell anyone who cares to listen that the golden rule for sexual pleasure, regardless of age, is to find what works for them. Once you do, you’ll have unlocked the ultimate cloud nine.
- Experiment. Try several bedroom tools and positions until you find what works. For example, men at this stage may be dealing with erectile dysfunction, so you might want to try positions where the woman is on top.
- Redefine sex. Sex in your youth may have focused on penetration, but this new era can have you unlocking the highest level of pleasure you’ve ever felt through oral sex, kissing, sensual massage, exploration of fetishes, or masturbation.
- Take foreplay more seriously. You may realise that it now takes a little longer to summon those fluids to action, and the quick fix to this is simply taking more time to set the stage. It can start as early as having a romantic dinner or just exploring your partner’s body for longer. Throw in playfulness and you’ll never want to leave your partner’s arms. All that teasing and tickling prepares the body for action.
2. Acknowledge, cherish and adore the person you’ve become
So, the body is a bit like your favourite old car. Sure, it might creak a bit when you bend, and maybe the eyes aren’t as sharp as they used to be, but hey, as long as there’s blood rushing through those veins, the body still wants what it wants.
You see, youth is this fleeting smoke, but ageing? Oh, that’s a gift.
Granted, your body will change – and you’ll need a whole load of confidence to see the beauty in your sunshine years. Confidence is the secret sauce. It’s sexier than a sizzling steak and brighter than a supernova. And it all begins in the mind.
So, step one on this fantastic journey of embracing sexual confidence when the body is in the slow lane is to free that mind of yours. You’re actually evolving and getting better with every passing day.
3. Communicate, communicate, communicate
Whether you’re into solo sex or you have a partner, you have to talk to yourself, your partner, a sex therapist, or a friend.
Remember that sex is both physical and emotional, and you can only achieve maximum pleasure when you’re comfortable and at peace. Talk about your anxieties and worries.
You must always keep the communication lines open because new things will arise along the way, and please accept reassurance.
4. Benefits of having sex even as the body ages
Becoming an older adult is like unlocking a treasure chest of life’s greatest joys – thriving careers, the warmth of family, and the wisdom earnt through years of experience.
Now, as the pace of life slows, it’s the perfect moment to rediscover oneself and embrace the transformative power of true intimacy. It’s not just about counting the years; it’s about making each moment count.
1. Sex doesn’t just add years to your life; it adds life to your years
Research suggests that maintaining strong social connections, including intimate relationships, can actually contribute to a longer and healthier life.
So, forget the fountain of youth; the secret might just be in a heartfelt conversation, a shared laugh, or passionate sex.
2. Strengthen relationships like fine wine
Embracing intimacy as an older adult can strengthen the bonds forged over a lifetime.
It’s not just about being close, it’s about growing closer. Think of it as the ultimate relationship upgrade – adding depth, understanding and a sprinkle of shared memories.
3. Your mental and physical wellbeing get a boost
Sex is like a natural elixir for your mind and body.
Regular intimate connections can:
- reduce stress
- improve mood
- contribute to better heart health.
Who knew that love and laughter could be such potent medicine?
4. Having a safe space
In a world full of uncertainties, being someone’s safe place is a superpower.
Intimacy offers a haven of trust and vulnerability. As an older adult, you’ve amassed a wealth of experiences—why not share that treasure by being the anchor for someone else and receiving the same?
It’s not just about finding comfort, it’s about creating it for others.
The upshot
Embrace the privilege of ageing, savour the richness of a life well-lived, and let intimacy be the encore that adds depth, joy and a touch of magic to the golden chapters of your journey.
After all, growing old isn’t just about accumulating years, it’s about crafting a legacy of love and connection. Cheers to the art of ageing gracefully!
Are you comfortable talking about intimacy with your partner and the changes that ageing brings about? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Also read: Using sex toys in your 50s and beyond
Aliyah Moore (she/her) is a certified sex therapist and relationship expert with a PhD in gender and sexuality. She is passionate about educating and empowering women to embrace their sexuality and identity.
