There’s no joke like a dad joke because, as we all know, they are often not really jokes.
Every family has a howler, but we love them, and the dads who made them, nevertheless.
So in honour of Father’s Day this weekend, we have collected some of the best, or is that the worst, dad jokes and jokes about dads. And don’t forget to say ‘boom tish’ at the end.
•••
I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
•••
My wife says I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a good step forward.
•••
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one.
•••
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.
•••
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They’re both Paris sites.
•••
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
•••
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
•••
The waiter asked if I wanted a box for my leftovers, but I told him I’m not into fighting.
•••
How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.
•••
I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down hills. Those were Goodyears.
•••
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Son: No. What happened?
Dad: The teacher woke him up.
•••
I used to be able to play the piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.
•••
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
•••
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
•••
I got hit in the head with a can of Coke today. Don’t worry, I’m not hurt. It was a soft drink.
•••
I love dad jokes, but I don’t have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.
•••
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
•••
I just paid $100 for a belt that doesn’t fit – what a huge waist!
Do you have a favourite dad joke? Why not share it in the comments section below?
Also read: Wisecracks about men and women