British presenter Kirstie Allsop has admitted she struggles with some aspects of getting older, despite feeling physically fitter than ever.
“I don’t think I have a particularly healthy relationship with ageing,” the Location, Location, Location presenter, 51, said in an interview with Good Housekeeping UK.
“When you’re younger, your metabolism is better, your skin is better and your bones are better. You get older and you’re suddenly a lot achier. But I have to say, I’m probably fitter now than I’ve ever been.”
The property expert and crafting queen said she had never directly experienced ageism but has witnessed it.
“I think the question is: is it ageism or is it sexism? Or is it both?” she continued.
“Because the fact is, you’re allowed to go on for much longer as a man than you are as a woman – and women have to work a lot harder than men to not fade out. It’s not easy at all.”
Ms Allsopp’s comments will likely not come as a surprise to women of a similar age.
“I hear this from my ex-corporate clients, especially over the age of 45,” says business mentor Rachael Howourth.
“They tell me stories of being sidelined for promotions, overlooked for public speaking and high-energy activities in the workplace. I think there’s an assumption forming that if a woman is menopause age, she’s not going to be reliable, committed or focused.”
Whether you’re working or not, it can be difficult coming to terms with the changes that occur as we age.
Here, experts explain how to reframe your thinking and adopt a healthy approach to getting older.
Focus on what you’ve achieved
“Remind yourself what a badass you are,” says business coach Rebecca Barr.
She suggests journalling during difficult times to get your worries down on paper and shift your focus to gratitude for how far you’ve come.
“Women often negate their accomplishments and the struggles they have been through in life; the reality is you have survived and grown from every challenge and curveball.”
Read: Seven habits to start today for healthy ageing
Share your feelings
“It can be very easy when you’re stressed to think you are alone,” says Kim Morgan, CEO at Barefoot Coaching (barefootcoaching.co.uk).
“As serotonin decreases and your body releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, you are more susceptible to negative and overwhelming thoughts.”
Whether it’s in real life or via social media, sharing your concerns with like-minded individuals can make a huge difference.
“Surround yourself with women who continue to inspire and motivate you as to what is possible in your season of life,” says Ms Barr. “There is power in community, ensure that yours is empowering you to lift yourself up, not be dragged down.”
Set out your goals
Feeling stuck in a rut? Take some time to sit down and figure out what you want to achieve in the next few years, and what success looks like for you.
“We are meant to grow and thrive in every chapter of life,” says Ms Barr. “Cultivating a growth mindset and continually looking for your next expansion and level of success is a great way to ensure you are never left feeling stale or stuck.”
Whether it’s taking up a new hobby, spending more time with your partner, ticking some destinations off your travel bucket list or starting a side hustle, set out the steps you’ll need to take to reach your goals, so you can tackle them one at a time.
Read: Top five planning tips for positive ageing
Find a fabulous role model
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“Find someone you admire, who has an attitude towards ageing that you respect,” Ms Morgan suggests.
It could be someone you already know or a public figure – how about Jane Fonda, the actor and activist who just conquered cancer at the age of 85, or 101-year-old style icon Iris Apfel?
“This idea can be very powerful in helping you to adopt some of these traits – eventually, they will start creeping into your everyday routine before you even realise.”
Don’t neglect self-care
“It’s easy to put others first and leave yourself last on the list, but this just adds to the feeling of not being worthy or enough,” says Ms Howourth. “You’ve worked hard to accomplish all that you have, so your 40s and 50s are the time to enjoy it.”
Read: The vitamin that’s integral to ageing gracefully
Following the advice ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’, give yourself permission to enjoy some self-care, whether that’s joining a dance class, having a massage or simply having some ‘me time’ at home to recharge.
Ms Howourth adds: “The more you invest in feeling good, the less likely you are to focus on the odd day when you don’t feel 100 per cent. Our skin might age, but the best smiles are with your eyes and teeth, so invest time in what makes you happy.”
How do you feel about getting older? What do you do to embrace the ageing process? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
– With PA
