Online dating and romance scams cheat Australians out of millions every year. The money you send to scammers is almost always impossible to recover and, in addition, you may feel long-lasting emotional betrayal at the hands of someone you thought loved you.
Scammers take advantage of people looking for romantic partners, often via dating websites, apps or social media by pretending to be prospective companions. They play on emotional triggers to get you to provide money, gifts or personal details.
Jim Winters, director of economic crime at Nationwide Building Society (nationwide.co.uk), says a typical romance scammer “triggers an emotional response that causes you to forget all the good advice you’ve had”.
Scammers may spend weeks or even months building up someone’s trust, and may then ask for several payments over a period of time.
While some romance scammers will invent ‘sob stories’ for needing money urgently, such as they or someone they care for being unwell, others may pretend to be doing charitable work in their community.
Mr Winters explains: “They use these worthy causes as a mask, or something that might sound like it could generate wealth for both of you in the future.
“Sometimes, the scam can be presented as an investment opportunity. It might be a business that the scammer is involved with, or purports to be involved with.”
Romance scammers may also say they live overseas, which may or may not be true. This gives them an excuse for being unable to meet in person, and may make it harder to check out any of their claims.
Mr Winters says: “Often, romance scams are slow-burners. Like investment scams, they can go on over a long period of time, months sometimes.
“Other types of scam are ‘quick turnaround’ – you find out pretty quickly that you’ve been scammed.
Criminals are experts at impersonating people. They spend hours researching you for their scams, especially when committing romance fraud.
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“Scammers may talk about community projects, which portrays them as being socially responsible, a really wonderful human being.”
Carrying out a reverse image search of any photos that have been sent, may help to give clues about whether someone really is who they claim to be.
There may also be some warning signs that loved ones are potentially being targeted by a romance scammer.
Red flags could include the person your friend or relative is talking to professing love after a short time.
Your loved one may become withdrawn, or suddenly need access to money, perhaps by dipping into savings, their pension, or getting into debt.
Mr Winters points out that some people may naturally want to keep the fact they are looking for a new relationship quiet – “so they might not be as open as they would normally be”.
But, he says, alarm bells should ring immediately if the person their loved one is talking to online starts asking for money.
“The advice we give with a purchase scam is don’t send money to someone you’ve never met, for something you’ve never seen or inspected. It’s similar for a romance scam,” he adds.
If someone has already sent money and they are concerned, Mr Winters says they should immediately tell their bank or building society. Scams should also be reported to the police. Support can be given to the victim to help prevent similar scams in future.
Mr Winters adds: “I’m sad to say, we speak to some romance scam victims who are still under the spell, and still insist that this person, and the relationship, is genuine.
“We see some that might start off by sending a small amount, and then another amount, and then another amount – they still haven’t met this person.
“Before you get to the end of the year, they’ve sent tens of thousands of dollars. It illustrates the strength of the spell, and the hold that the scammer has over the victim.”
Getting a second opinion can be a great way to sense check whether something sounds plausible.
But not everyone has someone close they can talk to, and some may not feel comfortable speaking to family and friends.
While people may feel embarrassed about speaking to their bank or building society, Mr Winters reassures: “You’re not alone. Far better to be safe. Far better to take a bit of time to ask some questions.”
How do you stay vigilant about scams online? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
– With PA
Also Read: How loneliness can put people more at risk of being scammed
