Just over a year ago I became one of Australia’s many empty nesters. Although I had long separated from my wife, one son had remained part of my household for over a decade. His mother and I had been encouraging him to expand his horizons by finding a place of his own. But knowing him as a person averse to any sort of a significant change, we had no expectations.
However, he surprised us when he agreed to rent an apartment not far from our home. I was suddenly faced with the prospect of being an empty nester. I thought it was a great move for him and would provide me with some extra freedom. But as moving day drew nearer, I began to feel a sense of sadness.
On the day he moved out I said to him, “Give it a month and see how you go. If you’re not happy, you’ll be very welcome to come back.” At the end of that month he said nothing, so I prompted him. “So, that’s a month now. Are you happy where you are now, or would you like to come home?”
I can’t remember his exact response but the general gist of it was, “No way!”
That left me equal parts sad and happy. I was rapt to see him making his own way in the world, something his mother and I had wondered if he’d manage to do. But his departure ushered in a pretty special era. I’d still be a parent, of course, but in a very different way.
Since then I’ve wondered whether my mixed feelings were in line with others who have become empty nesters. Now, a report from Australian Seniors addresses that very question.
The Empty Nesters 2024
The advocacy group has released The Empty Nesters 2024, a report that explores Australians’ current experiences of empty nest syndrome. This report distils the responses of 1208 Australians aged 50 and above who are current or former empty nesters. The latter phrase refers to Australians who became empty nesters but now have children who moved back home.
In assessing the responses, the researchers found that many empty nesters had a similar reaction to mine. They experienced a mix of positive and negative feelings, often in the form of pride and loneliness.
In fact, Australian Seniors said in a media release that “more than two in five (44 per cent) of us felt proud, while close to three in 10 (29 per cent) felt happy”. However, feelings of sadness (36 per cent) and worry (29 per cent) are also common, the research showed.
The research also found that women were more likely to feel sad (44 per cent vs. 27 per cent). Women were also more likely (34 per cent vs. 24 per cent) to feel worried. Men, on the other hand, were happier (54 per cent vs. 46 per vent) to have the home to themselves.
The positive side of the equation
Notwithstanding that, most empty nesters (70 per cent) enjoy the extra time that comes with children living out of home. These people were doing so in a number of ways, the report found.
“We’re embracing the opportunity to re-prioritise ourselves and our relationships [including] spending more time with our partners,” the report found. More than a third of empty nesters had also taken up new hobbies or interests.
These experiences had resulted in a relationship improvement in 18 per cent of empty nester couples. They cited having more time to spend with each other and a greater focus on improving the relationship as key. More energy for shared activities was also an important factor.
Much of this accords with my own experience. It’s now more than a year since my son moved out. Because he lives nearby, he and I see each other often and enjoy each other’s company. But I also enjoy the freedom of being an empty nester, and I know he enjoys having time away from me!
You can see the full insights of the Empty Nesters 2024 report here.
Have you become an empty nester recently? How has the experience affected you? Let us know via the comments section below.
Also read: The ‘generational sandwich’ crisis creeping up on us
