There once was a man from Nantucket …

We all know a Limerick or two, and you can count on at least one being a tad bawdy.

But where did the Limerick come from? While everyone agrees they are named after the city, no-one is quite sure why.

Anyway, they are a particularly English form of ‘poetry’ that has been around for centuries, and we’ve picked some of the best (that can be published).

•••

There was a young lady named Alice

Who was known to have peed in a chalice.

‘Twas the common belief

It was done for relief,

And not out of protestant malice.

•••

A crafty young bard named McMahon

Whose poetry never would scan

Once said, with a pause,

“It’s probably because

I’m always trying to cram as many additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”

•••

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a bucket

His daughter, named Nan

Ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

•••

There once was an old man of Esser,

Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small

He knew nothing at all

And now he’s a college professor.

•••

What happens when you retire?

You really don’t have to inquire –

No job and no phone

There’s no place but home,

And your chequebook’s about to expire!

•••

I once had a gerbil named Bobby,

Who had an unusual hobby.

He chewed on a cord,

and now – oh my lord,

now all that’s left is a blobby.

•••

One Saturday morning at three

A cheesemonger’s shop in Paree

Collapsed to the ground

With a thunderous sound

Leaving only a pile of de brie.

•••

A forgetful old gasman named Dieter,

Who went poking around his gas heater,

Touched a leak with his light;

He blew out of sight –

And, as everyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter.

•••

The incredible Wizard of Oz

Retired from his business because

Due to up-to-date science

To most of his clients

He wasn’t the Wizard he was.

•••

There once was a girl in the choir

Whose voice rose up hoir and hoir,

Till it reached such a height

It went clear out of seight,

And they found it next day in the spoir.

•••

There once was a farmer from Leeds,

Who swallowed a packet of seeds.

It soon came to pass,

 He was covered with grass,

But has all the tomatoes he needs.

•••

There once was a girl named Irene

Who lived on distilled kerosene

But she started absorbing

A new hydrocarbon

And since then has never benzene.

•••

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I’ve seen

So seldom are clean

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

What’s your favourite Limerick, why not share it in the comments section below?

Also read: Friday Funnies, did you hear the one about?