Decluttering is such an emotional process. There are probably a lot of reasons you hold onto things, but a big roadblock for many people are the feelings of guilt that arise when getting rid of something.
Living in a chaotic and cluttered space can negatively impact us. Excessive clutter is often a source of stress and research shows that clutter may stop people fully reaping the mental benefits of owning a home, which is usually associated with security and comfort.
How clutter impacts health
Untidy homes have traditionally been linked with procrastination, anxiety, and loss of focus for those who live there.
Your brain prefers order, and repeatedly looking at or living in unorganised chaos drains your cognitive resources, limiting your ability to focus. This visual distraction causes an overload of information in your brain, leading to an impairment of your working memory.
Messy homes are also linked to an increase in depression, guilt, and lower self-esteem.
In recent studies, several scientists have associated hoarding with an increase in BMI and symptoms of binge eating.
Neat and orderly environments are linked to healthy choices and lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. In one study, women who used positive words to describe their homes had lower levels of cortisol than those who used words such as “cluttered” or “messy”.
How to get rid of decluttering guilt
If you are feeling pangs of guilt about getting rid of possessions you do not use anymore, then ask yourself what the item means to you. Does it make you happy, invoke a special memory, or have any monetary value? If the answer to these is no, then you probably do not need it.
Here are five of the most common difficulties people face when trying to declutter:
1. What if I need it someday?
This is a familiar message that gets passed down from generation to generation. If your parents lived through a time when they had to hold onto things for a supposed ‘someday’ it’s likely you do the same thing.
However, it’s never been so easy and cheap to replace many items. That’s not to say you should throw something away and just buy it again when you need it. But if it’s something you haven’t used for more than a year, it’s probably just taking up space in your home.
So, ask yourself these two questions:
- Can I replace it easily if I do need it in the future?
- Will it cost less than $30 to replace?
If the answer is yes to both, it may help ease the guilt of getting rid of the item.
It is hard to get rid of things you might need one day, but I bet there are very few items that you will declutter that you will regret getting rid of. Most likely you will never think about them again, especially if you haven’t used them for years.
2. I don’t want it to go to a landfill
Even when something breaks, I have a hard time throwing it away because I always think, “Maybe someone can fix it and use it.”
But your house is not a landfill. You shouldn’t keep rubbish/broken items/things with missing pieces in your home that you have no fixed plan of how and when you’re going to fix them.
Search your local area for easy ways to recycle different household items so you don’t have to feel guilty about them sitting in a landfill.
3. It was a gift
Are you someone who keeps gifts that you won’t use because you don’t want to offend the gift giver?
Let’s think about this. How many times have you received a gift, and the giver checked to see if you still had it? Most people don’t check up on you to make sure you keep a gift. Most people also don’t even remember the gift they gave you, and if they did, they likely won’t be angry if you got rid of it.
Sometimes they might ask if it worked well or something similar, but that’s usually within weeks of giving the gift. If you have gifts stuffed in a closet from years ago, no-one is going to make sure you still have those gifts.
Also, getting rid of a gift someone has given you says nothing about your relationship with that person.
4. I still haven’t used it
In theory, it should be easy to get rid of something you’ve never used, but it can trigger those feelings of guilt.
You may have paid good money for an air fryer that came highly recommended and you had great intentions of using. But if you just prefer to cook in other ways, that’s okay.
You’re not going to get your money back if you hold onto it in the hope you’ll use it in the future. You may recoup some of that money if you sell the item, but you’ll also claim back some space in your home if you let that item go to a better home.
5. It’s sentimental to me
Sentimental items are perhaps the hardest to get rid of without guilt. Don’t try to declutter sentimental items until you’ve tackled the rest of your belongings. When you have a tidy, clutter-free home, you’ll have more energy and mental space to tackle the hardest category.
There are several reasons you might feel guilty about getting rid of sentimental items:
- it belonged to someone special who is no longer living
- someone special wanted you to have it
- it’s a rare or one-of-a-kind item that can’t be replaced
- it brings back special memories.
These things are very hard to part with, but remember, you don’t have to get rid of everything. Once you’ve identified how much space you have for sentimental items, pick out those you definitely want to keep. Generally, when you choose what is most important to you, it’s easier to get rid of the other things that aren’t as important.
For sentimental documents or photographs, you can scan them and keep digital copies if you don’t want to store physical copies. When you come across something really special, consider displaying it in your home instead of tucking it back into a box.
It is common to experience decluttering guilt, but it is important to remember that the stuff you own does not define you, and decluttering is just a way to make your daily life easier to navigate.
Your memories are contained in your heart and soul, not in your possessions.
Do you find it hard to declutter? Have you ever thrown something away only to wish you’d kept it? Let us know in the comments section below.
Also read: When hoarding becomes a health problem and how to talk about it
As an Aged Pensioner, I would have great difficulty financially in replacing something. The pull of ‘It might come in handy” is very strong (also family history of holding on to things, the Great Depression). Though I’m working on it!